This is How We Lost

Summary of This is How We Lost

This is How We Lost is written in a collective voice, revealing the often unseen and deeply painful realities of divorce. The poem draws a striking comparison between the experience of separation and the devastation of war—specifically invoking the imagery of a global conflict—to illustrate the emotional, psychological, and social toll it takes on families.

Challenging the common belief that divorce is an “easy way out,” the poem exposes the hidden battles fought behind closed doors. It brings attention to the silent struggles many women endure—navigating instability, loss, and continued forms of conflict even after leaving harmful or abusive relationships. Rather than finding relief, many face new hardships within the divorce process itself, including intensified emotional strain, financial insecurity, and social isolation.

The poem highlights how women are often left in more vulnerable economic and social positions, despite their courage in choosing to leave unsafe environments. In doing so, it reframes these women not as failures, but as “invisible warriors”—individuals who fight for freedom, safety, and dignity without recognition or support.

This is How We Lost is a powerful critique of societal misconceptions about divorce. It sheds light on the invisible battles women face and honours their resilience, emphasizing that what may appear to be a loss from the outside is, in truth, a hard-won act of survival and strength.